By Sidney Contoni
I experienced public embarrassment at a young age
due to my middle school’s dress code. I received an in-school detention over
wearing joggers, a loose kind of sweatpants. Everything I owned at the time my
mother bought me. She only bought me things that fit me the correct way,
nothing baggy, nothing tight, and nothing short. When I got dress coded, it was
a shock to me because, at the time, only leggings were banned to wear to
school. I learned so much from this experience; it’s changed my views on the
use of authority. If we don’t learn from our mistakes, how will we ever face
tomorrow’s problems? Mistakes help us learn, so we can make the right choices
for ourselves later down the road.
On October 10, 2015, I got told by the principal in front of my whole
eighth-grade class that I was getting dress coded because I was showing too
much, and it was distracting the boys in my class from learning. I got up from
my seat walked out of the classroom and calmly asked her why I was being dress
coded because nothing I was wearing was tight nor was it revealing. Mrs. Baker,
my principal, grabbed the back of my joggers and told me I was wrong, and I
shouldn’t be arguing with her because she was the adult, and I was the child,
and I didn’t know what I was talking about. She pulled me from the hallway to
the office and told me to call my mother. I called my mother and asked her if
she could come to school immediately and bring a different pair of pants with
her. When my mom got to school, she was confused. Why was she bringing me a
different pair of pants? She walked into the office and noticed I was sitting
outside of the principal’s office with my head down. She asked me what happened
and noticed I was upset. I told her what had happened. I could tell in her eyes
she was angry. I told her I was sorry for making her drive to school to give me
a different pair of pants. She looked at me and smiled. “That’s okay honey I’m
happy to do it, but you really shouldn’t have to change. You look wonderful,”
she said. My mother went into the principal’s office and talked to Mrs. Baker.
Mrs. Baker told me I needed to go change my clothes, and when I came back, she
handed me an in-school detention.
The lesson I learned from this is that a person in a position of
power over you will do and say anything in a situation even when they are in
the wrong just to make you feel bad or uncomfortable. I believe my principal
called me out in front of my peers because she knew she had the upper hand, and
there was nothing I could do. When you’re in trouble and you don’t agree with
why it is you are in trouble, the adult in charge isn’t going to hear you out. They
see you as a child and them as an adult and they can take advantage of that
instead of approaching it the correct way. Before this incident, I had previous
issues with my principal. To this day, I am insecure and never feel that I can
approach another adult without being criticized. As an adult now, I know what
is appropriate to wear and how to handle situations that are simply out of my
control. As sad as I was at the time, I am glad I can say I learned an
important life lesson.
In the future, I would like to see the dress code changed because I
learned people can be sexist about what young girls wear. I feel I was targeted,
and I would like to see the dress code change because I feel that girls are
sexualized and the rules don’t apply to the boys. If I was the one dress
coding, I would try and see it from their point of view, but if I felt they
were wrong, I would try to address it the correct way and have them understand
it’s not their fault. If I was being dress coded, I would want a valid reason
on why I am being dress coded not just centering the boys by saying, “You’re
revealing too much,” or “You’re distracting boys from learning.” I hope other
young girls learn the same lesson but learn without going through the same
hardships that I did.
About the Author
My name is Sidney Contoni, and
I am a graduate of Limestone Community High School. I am currently a student at
Illinois Central College planning to further my education at Illinois State
University. I am majoring in Early Elementary education. I find myself most
interested in writing about personal experiences and sharing them.