By Carmeta Webster-Sims
I am from Kingston, Jamaica
W.I. I am the 4th child and youngest girl of five kids (2 sisters, 2 brothers).
In 1993 at the age of six, my mother brought us all to the US. In '99 it all
changed for me because at the age of 12, my dad almost took my mom away from
us. My dad ended up getting deported back to Jamaica for what he did to my
mother and because I was a daddy's girl, it impacted me the most. After my dad
was sent back, it really messed me up. It was never easy for me growing up
after that because my mother and I always bumped heads. I felt like the black
sheep of the family. I always felt as if I didn't belong, as if my mother
didn’t want me or love me the way she loved my sisters and brothers. She would
always make it harder for me than she did for my siblings. As I got older, I
started to look for the love that I never felt from my mom and couldn't get
from my dad. My mother and I had a very strained relationship, but when I told
her that I was pregnant, everything changed drastically. I started dating men
older than me and kept it from my mom and my family while sneaking around
cutting classes, and that's how I ended up with my first baby. I dropped out of
school four months before graduating but went back to school after I had my
daughter, and that's when my life really started.
I am from homelessness. At
the age of 17 I was pregnant with my son whom I had at 18, then a year later at
19 I had my baby girl. At that point in my life, I had already moved out of my
mother’s home and was living alone as a single mom going to school, working,
and struggling to make ends meet. As my kids
were getting older, things started to get harder. In 2014, we eventually ended
up staying in a shelter after I lost my apartment the first time. Then there
was another bump in the road when someone stole my rent money, and I was
evicted from my second apartment. As a mother, I made sure that my children
were safe with a roof over their heads. I myself was sleeping in my car and
bouncing from home to home living with people I never knew beforehand. During
that time in my life, I was severely depressed, and my thoughts were very much
suicidal at this point, and I felt that my kids would be better off without me.
A year later, in 2015, I ended up in the hospital for a few days because I was
thinking about doing the worst thing possible and that was leaving my kids
without a mother. After my time in the hospital, I took my children and moved
to Pennsylvania with my best friend where we ended up staying for a year and a
half. Within that time, I met someone who I thought would treat me right, but
instead turned around and became my abuser.
I am from a domestic violence
relationship. In 2017, I packed up my kids and moved here to Peoria, Illinois,
and from the day we made it here to stay with my partner at the time, it was
crazy. She was someone that thought she was "god," that she was so
much better than everyone else, when she was really just as bad. While in the
relationship, I was been beaten with a 5th of vodka bottle that left me with
scars on my face, head, and body. I was cut with a pocketknife, had a DVD
player busted up on my back, had the tip of my nose bitten off, burnt with
boiling hot water, spit on, and treated like dirt. It was the worst I've ever
been through in my life. My kids were affected in a major way because they had
to witness the abuse and cruelty that I had to endure in front of them. It
broke my heart as a mother to listen to the verbal abuse toward my children and being scared of someone that is
supposed to love you. Eventually, I left and stayed in the shelters out here,
but because I was basically by myself out here, I kept going back to this
person. I kept putting my children back in a position that I knew was wrong,
but again we were new here and didn't know where else to go. After two years of
dealing with the mental, physical, and verbal abuse, I was blessed with a call
from my current residence, and by the next week, me and my kids were in our own
safe haven. It took one last incident with my ex a few months later for me to
realize that I didn't have to accept her abuse anymore, and that gave me the
strength I needed to say enough was enough. Even though I left her alone, I was
still nervous whenever I left my home to go to the store or anywhere else. It
took therapy for myself and my kids to even begin to get through everything
that happened to us; I mean, she almost took my life twice, and they witnessed
it all. The worst feeling in the world was having my kids experience what they
did and feeling like the worst parent because of what they had to go through.
I am from SURVIVAL. Getting
over the abuse and all the obstacles in my life was the hardest thing to do,
especially as a single parent raising two kids. There are plenty of times in my
life when I've wanted to end it, when I wanted to give up and just say
"fuck it," but my angels always saved me. Before my kids, I felt
unwanted and didn't know my purpose in this world, but after I had my kids, I
had a bigger outlook on life. They not only saved me, but they always gave me
the love that made me whole again and strong enough to get through whatever
came our way. As I got better and started living again, there was no more fear
of bumping into my ex or worrying about looking over my shoulder. After being a
victim, I rose up and remained the same person that I was and always have been
before that part in my life. In July of 2020, I met my
other half, my wife. We started dating at the end of
August and got married a few weeks later after her birthday on September 22.
People might read this and say, "Damn she didn't waste any time," but
regardless of what anyone would think or want to say, it was the best decision
of my life. I'm very proud to call her my wife. She has shown me nothing but
love, respect, acceptance, and she loves my kids. We have been growing together
for almost a year now, and I wouldn't trade her for the world. My kids love her,
and they are also getting ready to take her last name.
I am happy. I have the
greatest family in the world, and even though there are still days where we
struggle, the bond that we share is unbreakable. To this day, I still have
dreams of the abuse, and it still scares me that one day I might bump into my
ex, but I push that thought to the back of my mind because I am stronger now in
my faith and my strength. That was a part of my life that was not only
horrible, and scary, but it was definitely a lesson learned. I'm a better
mother than I was at those points in my life, my kids are much better, happier,
and way more comfortable than they have ever been. I'm happily married to the
greatest person in the world, next to my kids of course. I'm a full-time
student, I was working, but I let my job go so I could focus on school. My goal
is to open up my own center where I would be helping the less fortunate to the
most fortunate, from kids to adults, anyone in need. My family is my biggest
support system, and I do everything that I do for them. But my journey doesn't
stop there because I want to make a positive difference in this world, because
if I can make it and find peace, I want people to know that anything is
possible.
My name is Carmeta
Webster-Sims. I was born in Kingston, Jamaica W.I. My mother brought my
siblings and I to the US in 1993 at the age of 6, where I grew up in Paterson,
New Jersey. I'm a wife and a mother of two teenagers. I moved to Peoria,
Illinois, in April of 2017, where I'm currently attending ICC for Psychology. I
would be honored to tell my story in hopes that it will be a positive
reinforcement for the next person whose experiencing or has experienced the
things that I've been through. I am a survivor of Domestic Violence, my life
struggles, while being a single mother, and I'm still standing strong and will
continue to do so. My goal is to build a foundation that will allow me to help
others of all ages, races, and status, because I want to make a difference, as
well as showing my children that regardless of your struggles there's always a
way to get through.