By Katja Mahannah
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It’s seeing
nothing when you look in the mirror,
Staring into
fire and feeling its burn.
It’s trying to
find just one object that doesn’t inspire you to hurt,
Like a slip of
paper, sliding back and forth and slicing through your skin.
It’s hoping
that the people around you will hold themselves back from killing you,
Wishing that
you could trust people to be near you again.
It’s sitting on
the brink of sleep,
Begging the
terrors to take a break for just a couple of hours.
It’s looking at
the clock,
Expecting the
worst and awaiting your downfall.
It’s
extinguishing a smile before anyone sees,
Eliminating the
possibility of your visible vulnerability.
It’s jumping
into the pain before it presents a warning,
Knowing that
life is pain, and nothing good can happen because you don’t deserve it.
About the Author
Katja Mahannah is an ICC student. She is a writer with an acquired taste; she is not afraid of the truth. Katja works in ICC's Academic Support Center, doing what she does best: policing grammar and judging the general lack of commas. Outside of necessities, Katja loves to write and clean. If you got to know her, though, you would know that she cares more about Jesus and her own, growing family than anything.