By Jacob Belcher
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“The ultimate measure of a man isn’t determined by how he
reacts in times of comfort and convenience, but in times of controversy.”
--Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
“You reap what you sow.” The pain seems unbearable at first
and the decisions you make because of the situation, whatever it may be,
determine the caliber of the individual that you are. Revenge is only a
temporary healing, and denial is a form of self-sabotage, which usually leads
to hatred and destruction. Every trial and tribulation we face in life has a
purpose. If you embrace them and manifest them, the blessings will be uncanny.
I’ve come to realize through all the trials and tribulations I’ve faced, and
all the ones I’ve created for others, good or bad, they all played a part in
the manifestations of the man I am today.
This last year of my life was a breaking point. I finally
hit rock bottom. The pain and sorrow were excruciating; I thought my heart was
going to explode out of my chest when that cell door closed. Thoughts of suicide
and feelings of hopelessness were greater than any other. I saw no way out. My
whole life was a destructive path that I paved, fueled by addiction and
codependency, stuck in a cycle of bondage to them both.
I surrendered myself to both at a very young age and it
became my normal. You lose all control when that happens. Nothing is yours
anymore. Your morals and values are gone because you’re no longer living for
self. You can’t live two lives on one solid foundation.
Another thing I’ve come to believe is that blood doesn’t determine
family. Loyalty does. If you weigh your quality of life on a digital scale, you’ll
always come up short. Hurt, betrayed, and confined in the end, whether it be a
cell or a grave. You also can’t be loyal to someone else if you’re not loyal to
yourself. Which means that you can’t genuinely love someone, either, because
you don’t love yourself. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it mean
that you’re heartless. It’s just impossible to put your heart into something
when you don’t have complete control over it.
Most of the hardship I’ve encountered in my life I’ve retaliated
back with vengeance in my heart. These have been some of my darkest and most trying
times. It was life or death, and death wasn’t for me. Believe me, I tried. So I
chose Christ. I continue to grow daily and mold myself into a Kingdom man,
aligned with Jesus Christ in my heart. I realize looking back on my life that almost
all the friendships, besides a handful, and two relationships I committed to,
were nothing more than steppingstones in my life. They were founded in a state
of mental confusion, ending in a result of bad judgment.
Until we know who we really are and what purpose we hold as
individuals, it’s all manifested in worldly desires. Confusion, lust,
manipulation, and self-satisfying love. We will never reach our full potential
until we take the time to figure out self. Until we do that, we’ll never
experience the feelings of reaching our full potential. We’re stuck in a state
of complacency with broken focus syndrome, coping with retail therapy, social
media, drama, addiction, and so many other worldly things; along with
relationships that will more than likely prove to be toxic. They’re all
distractions hindering us from maximizing and capitalizing on our greatest
strengths and dreams. For those of us who are parents, we hinder our children’s
futures tremendously. If you can’t give yourself your best life, you can’t give
them one, either. Think about it: if you are their teachers and mentors and you
spend more time on yourself than you do teaching them, what are they learning?
So many children are being raised and taught through technology, social media, YouTube,
and so many other distractions. You’re their parents for a reason. Guide,
teach, discipline, and show them a direction of importance.
“Don’t let the pain of an imperfect past hinder the glory of
a fabulous future. If you think for one second that being a genius is a gift or
that world-class leaders are born that way, you’re wrong. Every person has the
intelligence to achieve greatness. You just have to be willing to study and
work for it.”
“Victims own large TVs; leaders own large libraries.”
You owe it to yourself to be great and live a good life. You
just have to ask yourself how hard am I willing to go for it? The hardship and
discomfort are worth the rewards. I promise.
About the Author
Jacob Belcher is in his second year at ICC. He is a man that
comes from a very dark past. He is doing all he can daily to improve in all aspects
of life. He seeks to mentor and help those who can relate to his past life and
want better for their future.