Thursday, August 1, 2024

To Be Known

 By Natalie Scott


I drove by your house
For the first time in four years
I was terrified, expecting you to walk outside
It’s weird to be back in this town
Seems like nothing’s really changed
But the air felt cooler, reminding me I’m an intruder
 
Some things stay the same forever
Some things really never get better
I’m the biggest ghost in this ghost town
Silently screaming, notice me around
 
Could you feel my presence, could you?
Did it feel unpleasant, to you?
 
I went to our coffee shop
For the first time in ages
I ordered the same thing, latching on to a knotted string
No one recognizes me here
To them, I’m just another tourist
But a piece of my heart resides here, after all these years
 
Some things stay the same forever
Some things really never get better
I’m the biggest ghost in this ghost town
Silently screaming, notice me around
 
Could you feel my presence, could you?
Did it feel unpleasant, to you?
 
God, I’ve missed this place
God, I’ve missed your face
I like this town because it’s where you are
I like this town because it’s where we once were
I’m scared to one day see you again
But I’d give anything for you to see me instead
To be known by you, for who I am
To be loved by you, for who I am
I’ll always long for these things
Even though they’re out of reach
 
Some things stay the same forever
Some things really never get better
I’m the biggest ghost in this ghost town
Silently screaming, notice me around
Could you please just notice me now?
 
To be known by you
All I want is to be known by you



About the Author

Natalie Scott is an English major at ICC.  She is planning to pursue a career in either Journalism or in the book publishing industry. She has been an avid reader and writer her whole life, and is excited to one day make an impact with her words. 
 
 
 

Dear Insincerity

 By Abigail Stanton

-

I’d rather wholeheartedly feel the entirety of the human condition’s pain and burden if it means keeping my gratitude intact. Granted, half pain and half burden would require less suffering, but I’ll take the risk of stepping towards all there is to feeling than love live half heartedly. Sure, camping on the outskirts of a dream protects from the shrapnel of disappointment, sure, but why settle for comfort? With wonder as my weapon, I’ll step into a puddle and thank the sky for rain and my boots for keeping me dry instead of cursing the poor thing for an existence it cannot help. Half empty by choice, you stifle awe’s invitation. What a shame to boast only half a heart.


About the Author

 Abigail is studying at ICC with the hopes of one day becoming a middle school English teacher. When she isn't busy with her jobs as a barista, bowling league manager, and camp counselor, she can be found sipping an iced lavender latte and reading her Bible.

A Tidbit of Advice

 By Abigail Stanton

Speaking for the first time as your friend,

let me leave you better than I found you

 

As the second Abby you've dated,

I imagine the third one would be terribly

insecure. For her sake,

break that trend.

 

Practically speaking, shave your face more

often than you think you need to, stop waiting to change

your oil, and tithe. Your pursuit of Lady Wisdom has been a pride

and joy to witness–continually accept her outreached hand.

 

The vase I bought, just Thursday, will never

fulfill its intended purpose to carry your care in floral form.

I grieve at the newfound obligation to bury long wilted

flowers. Never let another bury the twice dead, and

 

if it's okay, I'll visit your church someday. I never

thought anything other than "pastor" suited

you. I pray you grow to shepherd your flock tenderly,

but first, become tender.

 

Now, newly as just "you and I," I mourn "we," but never could I

be bitter. The heart's desire and mind's commitment to love

are to sacrificially care, so in this I know you love me,

and I, you.



About the Author

Abigail is studying at ICC with the hopes of one day becoming a middle school English teacher. When she isn't busy with her jobs as a barista, bowling league manager, and camp counselor, she can be found sipping an iced lavender latte and reading her Bible.

 


Stance

 By John Tuccillo 

the spectrum
accessible within a moment’s attitude
so will i like the content within my frame?
or will i want to like it? 
for the indifferent are flimsy
like paper at the mercy of earth's quill
unable to compose the superior picture

 


About the Author

Johnny does not know what to say about himself. Johnny also does not think he needs to say anything about himself. Here’s four more words.

The ICC Labyrinth

 By Daniel Ware

-

I fear I’ve gone too far.
It is difficult to recall
Where I am going and
Where I have been.

 

All of these rooms look
Identical to each other.
The numbers and letters meld
Together into an unrecognizable
Amalgamation of shapes.

 

Now that I am thoroughly lost
In a 


 


The fog lifts.

 

I look around
And find myself 
Back where I began.



About the Author


 
Daniel S. Ware is a sophomore at Illinois Central College, majoring in high school education, with a focus in English literature. His future goal is to use project-based learning to make his classes interactive and personalized for every student. When he is not working or doing homework, Daniel enjoys writing poetry and short stories and playing table-top, role-playing games. As a game master, Daniel relishes in plotting devious challenges for his players to overcome and inventing new, terrifying monsters for them to defeat. 


Babbs, 1998

By Arwen Skye Bullock 

I feel like I have been given a hundred names throughout my lifetime, but my favorites are the ones I keep tucked in the back of my mind. I do this so that they stay special, it's not something that loses meaning because it's so common or because you allow so many others to call you by it. Though I guess I do it because it's the last memory I have of him, not like I haven't seen the shell every day, or if I even really remember this man I so claim to know. All I truly know is his handwriting, a cursive secret written on the bottom of a creased Polaroid:

 ‘Babbs, 1998’

         The picture is so distorted from the crappy flash of the camera, yellowed from age and smoke, and the seal has lifted due to water getting onto the picture. Though at this age I can't tell if it's from moving in the rain, an accidental spill, or the tears I've shed so many times over the years. Even though all of this surface damage, you can still see the can of bud light in his left hand, and the smoke rising from the ashtray beside him. Today this would seem horrible, but back then smoking was seen as a good thing, and hell, a drink never hurt either.

My father barely looks like himself in this familiar photo, he seems aloof as usual but his face is so full of life. Like he looks forward to something that I know will never happen, which may be the reason he crumbled the way he did. The little girl in that picture looks up to him with so much love and admiration I almost want to say “Dont” hoping to save what innocence she might have left inside of her. I know this picture so well I sometimes feel as if I'm walking around the Polaroid frame…

             Sometimes- when I hear the word ‘Abbs’ I freeze as some kind of reflex, thinking from time to time that it could be you calling my name back to the past. I practically hallucinate that B sounds when I hear that common nickname, hallucinating the man I wished my father was, kind, gentle, strong, and most importantly loving. However, I know better than to believe it as I relive how he is true, scornful, aloof, and fucking drunk.

            Because of this I can't help but envy other little girls on the street, holding their father's hand as they walk to the park or the ice cream shop. I imagine how we could have been if you had just put the beer down, or if Mama had intervened. I imagine we would listen to your favorite songs on vinyl, or you would teach me how to drive… instead, I don't even know your favorite songs, or if you listen to music at all.

All of these thoughts and all of these memories come back to me as I sit in the closet of my one-bedroom apartment, closing myself in with pictures as they scatter about, leaving an empty shoebox at my feet held together by duct tape. I imagine this is how my brain looks when it reminds me of you, scattered, alone, being held together solely by cheap adhesive while my name is written over each item: 

“Abigail”

 


About the Author


Arwen ‘Skye’ Bullock is currently an Illinois Central College student born and raised in Peoria, Illinois. She began writing in 2011, and was published for the first time only a year later for her title ‘Tommy the Tree’ in 2012, and again in 2023 for her poetry piece ‘Addiction’ in the Illinois Central Review. She plans on publishing her first book in the next year.

The King of Bramblewood

By Cameron Miller

Tuesday. April 17, 1922.

 New Journal. New Day.

 I’m currently writing this on the train ride back home. Apologies for any mistakes of messy writing. The ride is rough. I wonder what wanders on the tracks at just the right time for these bumps.

 Been six years since I was called from the restraints of the manor. Was not able to greet the new owners when they moved in. Been four years since the war drums and guns stopped firing. The silence was so much worse than the constant rifle fire and the colorless stench of gas. Sometimes I wish the Grandest conflict had never concluded. It was an experience most certainly. Stayed a little too long overseas.

 Been two weeks since my last journal was destroyed. I lost several during the war without being given the chance to give them their proper dues. But the last one was robbed from me. I only ask for forgiveness for losing it. It must sting for a vagrant thief to be writing in my sacred journal, but I assure you that every second in silence is my penitence. And I have much to pay for.

 Oh, I must apologize for this, but it appears that I am near my station. I will write some more further tonight. Wish we had more time now, but soon I will have more than enough for the record. I await the warmth of the Bramblewood.

 

Wednesday. April 18, 1922

     I must apologize for the lack of an update yesterday. The hours since I returned home have been hectic. I can barely believe the sheer audacity of that man.

 I write this rage in grasp and every stroke of the pen may just break in twain. The manor’s exterior has remained fairly similar to how it was when I left. Grey decaying wood covered with the loving creeping touch of the Bramblewood vines. Fine wooden vines that wrapped the manor from the ground to the roof. However, it seemed like none of it had grown. Many years ago, the staff of the manor was tasked to keep the Bramblewood growing, and I was tasked to survey them. My mind just guessed that the Bramblewood had just reached maturity on the Manor walls.

 Then I saw the men working on the side of the manors. Men with hatchets and rakes were sliced apart from the beloved Bramblewood from the east wall of the Manor. They were carrying pounds of the poor plants. My heart dropped when I saw this horror.

 I walked up to the men, greeted them, and asked why they were committing their heinous acts. They just shrugged me off and continued their work, ignoring my pleas for mercy. I kept yelling and when one of them greeted me, he yelled at me. Told me to get off his case and go talk to a “Baron Donner” inside if I had a complaint with their work. I did consider punching him to a bloody pulp but restrained myself. Not the time or place for that.

 I walked into the manor’s halls. I thought the destruction of the Bramblewood would be the worst part of my day. I did not expect how much I would come to loathe Donner.

 In these writings, I will not be giving him the title of “Baron”. The past owners were far more worthy than the title. They were kind, gentle, and respected the true wishes of the manor. And they had apparently “passed peacefully” while I was away. Donner probably laid a hatchet in their skulls to take over this glorious place.

 This— demon in human form is an infection in my beloved manor. The Baron’s face is constantly decorated with smiles that cover up anger and hatred. Traveling the world during the war taught me the difference between a real smile and a false one. There is not a single inch of his tongue that does not spew out venom with his speech. None of the other aids who lurked here while I still lived here are around anymore. He claims that they left, but I know that it would be an idiotic move to even consider walking away from this elegant manor. What does he take me for? A rotten roach?!     

 Apologies once more, but the desire to punch him straight in the face. What once was a group of the most loyal butlers and servants is now filled with young and inexperienced hands. I suspect these new aids were picked more for their appearance and prior relations with this Baron than for any love for this sacred place!

 Ugh. Apparently, the old owners of this beautiful place left something in their will about leaving me the Basement of the Manor. As I write this, I sit next to a blazing boiler on cold concrete. The Baron has me working like he is trying to kill me from exhaustion. He clearly hates my presence and my arguments against his vision of what this place should be. The only light is a small window with pale moonlight glaring through. Reminds me of when I was stationed overnight in the trenches. Sleeping here is almost just as comfortable as here. Ha.

 

Thursday. April 19, 1922.

 Nothing major to report. Baron is still a petty little nuisance. New Aids are mostly incompetent. There is one that can make one sweet roast chicken. Some young lady named Sarah? I think that’s what her name is. My hearing can be rather shot at times.

 Overheard rumors of a secret door in the basement. Impossible. I have known every single board and inch of this manor for decades. Unless that Baron added some secret passages while I was away, this is a complete lie.

 

Friday. April 20, 1922.

 Pretty sure the other aids hate me already. I already hated them, so I guess it balances it all out. Maybe being a 45-year-old Butler and Groundskeeper with already graying hairs and weary eyes in a manor full of people who look like they have barely passed 24.

 Wait. Am I 45?

 Eh, it doesn't matter. Never was good at tracking that kinda thing.

 Talked with the young Sarah. Well, apparently her name is Emily? Maybe I was talking to the wrong person? Ugh, my head feels like I took a rain of bullets today. Sleeping on concrete might be the death of me.

 Interesting observation; however, the Baron is married. Quite the surprise. Could’ve sworn I heard the sounds of rotten cheating near the Master Bedroom. Add Cheater to that list of things that filth is.

 Going to start organizing a bed of cardboard tonight. Cannot sleep on concrete anymore.

 

Saturday. April 21, 1922.

 I found the door. I know why you two gave me this Basement. This is grand. I knew that the rotten Baron was not the true ruler of this manor. My liege, I write this in my blood and swear upon it: that man will suffer for what he has done to you.

 

Sunday. April 22, 1922.

 More sounds from near the Master Bedroom tonight. Apparently, one of the lady aids had been visiting the Baron in the dark hours.

Found her near the kitchen in the night. Young lady was stealing my snacks. MY SNACKS I KEPT IN THE BRAMBLEWOOD.

 

Monday. April 23, 1922.

 That found that lady in a ditch outside the Manor, covered in the Bramblewood. Police report that her blood was drained. I always wondered what blood tastes like.

 Police are all across the mansion, taking statements from aids. Heard a few of those scum daring to say that I was responsible. Made me want to throw them out of a window. Had to restrain myself.

 Police are taking the Baron down to the station for some questioning. Or maybe he just wants to look at the body. Maybe he fancies himself a detective. Can you imagine that? That poor, pathetic man as a detective?

 You, my liege, would make an excellent detective though.

 

Tuesday. April 24, 1922.

Baron came back today covered in blood and screaming at the police. I bet he stabbed an officer. He says he fell into a patch of Bramblewood and found another body. These accidents would never happen under your careful watch.

 More fingers are being pointed at me. Going to hide away in the Manor’s basement. The Police are annoying like mosquitos or bullets flying around. Stole a blanket from the Baron’s room. It’s mine.

 Update before I go to sleep. Police claim they have a scrap of my clothing on one of the dead bodies. Tomorrow's going to be unpleasant.

 

Wednesday. April 25, 1922.

 This may be the end, my liege. I’ve barracked myself in the basement with a legion of cardboard walls. The police keep breaking through with ease. If only I had taken some barbed wire from the trenches. Cannot keep writing for too long. Gotta keep moving.

 I’m going to move further into the Basement towards you, my liege. You’ll protect me, right? You and your Bramblewood will save me. I just know it.

 

Thursday…It doesn’t matter anymore.

 I knew you would come through with me in the end, my liege. You and your Bramblewood form. The wood that made up your flesh ripped them all apart. You sliced them apart when they came to take me away. I have to keep the blood from dripping onto the page, heh.

 How I adored watching you rip them all apart, especially that Donner. I think I got some skin and blood on my fine suit. It’s fine, my liege. These clothes won’t matter soon.

 I give myself to you, true king of this manor. I give myself to your eternal existence under this manner and the nerves of yours we call the Bramblewood. I write this to honor your existence. And now I shall join you into an eternal servitude under your reign. And this world will one day learn of you when they find you again. And if someone besides my liege is reading this, I thank you. In fact, I’m sure we’ll be meeting each other soon enough. 



About the Author 

Cameron Miller loves creating things of the Bizarre, Strange, Comedic, Horrific, or whatever. He likes reading comics in his free time, learning about Mythology and Folklore, and drawing while occasionally going into writing. He currently hopes to go into a field of Library Sciences. Also He is currently hunting Mothman. This is a Warning to Mothman.

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  Volume IV, Issue 1 January 23, 2026 From the Editor Artwork A Masterpiece in Progress  by Audrey Anderton My Life with Film  by Sophie Ber...